so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
