Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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