it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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