I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Two words: blizzard sex
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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