i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
