Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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