Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
