i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
