YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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