I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
