week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
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