Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
