Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
