no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Randomize
