did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
