So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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