Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
