Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
