Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
