remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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