Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
