Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
