Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
