Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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