He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Dicks are not precious.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
