I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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