You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
