Are we in a gay sports bar?
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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