Only a mothe r could love this liver
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
