So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
