apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Randomize
