the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize