he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
