I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
