well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
