omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
