i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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