just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I stole a fireplace last night.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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