I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
