Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
