I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
