he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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