Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
