So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Randomize
