Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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