Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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