We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Randomize
