you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
