Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Randomize
