people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
