Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
