Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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